Okay so it had been a whole year or more since I had gone out anywhere significant because of the pandemic. Mother’s Day my husband wanted to do something nice for me, so I suggested that we go to Dillard’s as they had a wallet in stock that I just had to have. Now I could sit here and try and justify my excursion by saying that I really needed that wallet. But truth be told it was a desire and not a need.
From the time I entered the store I felt rather overwhelmed. Straight ahead was the women’s department. I made a bee line to the dresses. Hmm how about my size was the first one I gazed upon as I felt the material slowly slide between my fingers and I had to decide rather quickly that I did not need a new dress! After all I must stay focused. I had come to the store, specifically to get a wallet…nothing more nothing less. I did an about face, and hurriedly walked away toward the purses.
After a rather quick peruse in the handbag department I spotted the wallets. There was a young woman standing in front of them like a mother hen guarding her recently laid eggs! I sized up the situation rather quickly. She had her mother on the phone and was video chatting with her showing her the wallets. Everything around me quickly faded when I heard her say that she wanted a black one as I looked at the display case and there was only one of them left. Suddenly, something rose on the inside and I went to a place that I have not been to in a long, long time. I surveyed that cabinet, figured out how to get it open and snatched up that black wallet with one swift synchronized move. Then I heard coming out of my mouth, “I am sure that they have more, oh here comes the sales lady now” as I began walking toward the register. Where was my sense of preferring others ahead of myself? The usual for me would have been to let that young woman get that wallet for her mom and I would have kindly opened the display case, retrieved it, and given it to her. Oh no not that day! I selfishly had my mind made up that I wanted a black wallet, and it was going to be that black wallet come what may and I got it! Where was the guilt? Away from me guilt…. not today. Where was me being ashamed of myself for my actions? Not today. Away from me shame.
A few moments later the young lady walked pass me with a smaller black wallet and said that her mom decided on a smaller one and all was right with my world, or was it? Sometimes you might find yourself doing crazy stuff. And I am laughing at myself as I am writing this. That was so out of character for me! But every now and then I find myself doing something that is a little off the chain and I am still alive to tell it!