Updated: Jan 27
I was speaking to someone recently about the emotional walls that we build up around ourselves. Emotional walls are a reaction to being hurt for whatever reason and some walls are bigger than others. Emotional walls are built to protect the heart so that it never has to experience hurt like that ever again. Personally, I don’t feel that anyone intentionally sets out to build walls around themselves, but life happens, and we will all experience hurt and disappointment and emotional and/or physical pain at the hand of another that we trust. And it is especially difficult to not build walls if it keeps happening repeatedly!
I watch HGTV and the Discovery+ channels a lot. I especially love seeing renovations. I am fascinated witnessing homes that were old, and dilapidated restored into homes that are beautiful, modern and once again being used for its intended purpose. It is amazing how the designer sees something quite different than the average person. The designer goes in and walks from room to room and sees what it can become with a lot of hard work, and changes.
One of the first things that is always desired is an “open concept”. Having that desired “open concept” always has to do with the tearing down of a wall and sometimes more than one to let in more light and to give a sense of inclusion and not separation or division. It is usually during the tearing down of the walls that problems are discovered that no one was aware of that had been hidden for years. When the undetected problem is discovered, a decision will have to be made to fix the problem. Sometimes fixing the problem could be rather expensive but, in every case, it is always the wisest course of action. To leave it as is could have devastating effects in the future.
Do you know someone who has built walls around them? Have you built walls around your heart? Do you have trust issues because someone has hurt you in the past? Are you afraid of being vulnerable? Are you angry all the time and push people away? Do you guard your emotions and don’t allow yourself to be joyful? Do you find yourself engaging in self-sabotage? Do you end the relationship before they do so that you won’t experience rejection…again?
I am not a therapist. I have never claimed to be one, but I do know a little about what it means to be emotional healthy and unhealthy. If nothing else this pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in all of us.
I am reminded that God’s intention is for us to have our minds renewed daily. That renewal process is much like the renovation of a house. It involves admitting and seeing the walls that have been built around our hearts (our emotions) and having a desire to want them gone! His plan is for us to have an open concept so that we can see better and be seen. You see when a house is renovated the entire structure is not torn down. It has “good bones”. Only those things that are beyond repair and that could bring harm are removed and replaced with that which is good. We are to hold onto the good things and be willing to let go of the things that will do harm. You may not be able to do this alone. Pray and ask for guidance and discernment to see the guidance when it comes. It always helps to talk to someone you can trust and if you trust no one, seek professional help. There is no shame in it. Always remember that you are loved, you are valuable, you are worthy, and you are stronger than you think you are!