My husband and I have been together for 42 years. I looked at a picture of him just a few days ago and it made me smile. I thanked God for this precious man that He brought into my life when I was not even looking for a man! But I got one anyway and I am so grateful that after turning down his first proposal, I came to my senses and later proposed to him and he said, “Okay!” Doesn’t sound too romantic but that’s okay! The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and we were a good fit for one another.
I cannot tell you how many women that I regularly talk to, who are single and want to be married. Some have never been married before and others divorced. Very few of them have come out and said that they want to remain single by choice. They don’t want to be a man’s forever girlfriend, arm candy or his chick on the side. They want a good man, and their intent is to be a good wife! But the same question keeps coming up: where are all the good men? Some answers are that they are already married, in jail or gay. Other answers are that they are afraid of commitment; they have mommy issues, money problems, jacked up credit, or a bunch of kids by a bunch of baby mommas! Who wants or needs that drama? I believe that there are still good men available who are praying for the right woman. God is still in the miracle working business and He is the one who can change a sow’s ear into a silk purse! The next statement is that I am so tired of waiting for the right one to come along. It is at this point that a lot of men and women take matters into their own hands and start looking for love in all the wrong places! Be careful where you go looking for love! You might start out looking for love and run right into lust and lust has tentacles that will draw you in, squeeze the life out of you and, when it’s done, throw you away like you never existed!
So, what do you do while waiting for the right one to come along? How about working on you! How about working on what you will bring to the table? What about working on your self-esteem so that you don’t keep falling for that one who is no good for you? How about working on your relationship with the Father, so that your discernment will become sharp, and you see that one who is no good for you coming from a mile away and run in the opposite direction! You teach people how to treat you and enough of you allowing a man to treat you in a way that is less than what you deserve! And you deserve the best that your Father offers.
And to the men, I say, Proverbs 18:22 The Message… Find a good spouse, you find a good life—and even more: the favor of God! What are you bringing to the table? You want a good spouse? Then become a better man! Become hardworking, a protector, a provider, monogamous, get your credit in order. Put her first, secondary to God in your life and always make her feel like she is a queen! Do not abuse her and that means physical or verbal abuse! True love, actual love, does not abuse!
Well, I have said my piece and whether or not you agree…makes no difference to me! I have lived long enough to know what works and what does not! My advice is to ask the Lord to help you wait well! The right one is out there for you. Maybe God is waiting for you to allow Him to transform you. You may not be strong enough just yet to resist the counterfeit! You may not be kind enough yet to receive that one that He intends to send. If He sent him now, you would run him off! Work on your healing. Get rid of your baggage! You are too heavy to be lifted by your Prince Charming right now! Only God has the strength that is needed to carry you with all that baggage! He will carry and help you get rid of it if you are willing! Hello “feather weight” in the making…here you come!