It was last year sometime when my husband woke up at about 4 am and as I am a light sleeper I asked if anything was wrong. He told me that he was hungry as he scrambled out of the bed. My intent was to just turn over and go back to sleep and leave the brother to himself. But before I knew it, words came flying out of my mouth almost as if I had no control over them, “Do you want me to fix you something?” I know that I did not just say that! Maybe he will just say, “No honey. You go back to sleep. I can get myself something”. At least that is what I was praying! But ohhhhh no! That man had the audacity to tell me, “I could use an egg sandwich if you don’t mind.” Immediately, I caught an attitude! I started to have a one-sided conversation in my head, and I will not even share with you all that I was saying, but you can probably imagine! I did not want to get up at 4 am in the morning and cook an egg sandwich for anybody! All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep in my comfy bed and for him to close the bedroom door as he was headed for the kitchen. Then suddenly, my mouth opened again, and I heard the voice coming out of my mouth saying, “Ok.” Finally, after wondering what was going on, I got up, sorted out my attitude (or so I thought), went to the kitchen and fixed that egg sandwich all the while glaring at him, daring him with my eyes to be ungrateful! I had it all planned in my mind how I was going to let him have it and good! He thanked me so much for that sandwich that I felt like a balloon that had a leak and all the air was going out of me. I was speechless. I went back to bed, repented to the Father because of my attitude and asked Him to help me to have the right attitude toward those whom I love, especially my husband.
Well it has been almost a year since that incident. Wouldn’t you know it, this morning at 3 am that big teddy bear of a man woke up again. And again, without stopping to think I asked him if anything was wrong and you guessed it, he said he was hungry. As I lay there immediately I thought back on how I had asked him earlier in the evening if he wanted me to warm him up something to eat and he said no that he was good. I got up went to the kitchen and he was already warming himself up something to eat and I thought, okay. Then since I was already in the kitchen, I decided to make myself a sandwich. I fixed it just so and went to where he was and after I had eaten half of it, I offered the other half to him. It was just a good will gesture. He took it without hesitation as I watched him eat it with relish! I was done! I really wanted the other half of my sandwich! Didn’t he know that I really wanted it myself? Lesson to be learned in all of this…when you say something, ask something, mean what you say and say what you mean. I am laughing at myself right now! Vera, girl you have got choices! You could have chosen to keep your sandwich and eat it all yourself…why didn’t you? Vera, girl you could have chosen not to ask him if he wanted you to fix him something. Why didn’t you? So many times, we open our mouths too quickly without considering our words. Sometimes we even volunteer for things that we know that we don’t want to do. And sometimes we need to do it but must ask for help with our attitudes while doing it. Hey, I am still a work in progress!